SPLIT WHOLE

SPLIT WHOLE is a 12 song album with 6 guitar-y songs and six synth-y songs. It's about the disparate parts of the self, confusion, aimlessness, projection, and other issues. I envision this album as a having a light beginning that slowly dips into more upset tracks, with the nadir at walking again, before coming up and out of the dark with the last two tracks.

It took me around 2-3 years to make this, and there are a good amount of tracks i made in pursuit of this album. Some I actually still like and might share here? Regardless, I knew that I could not work on it anymore. So I finished up a few tracks and released it. There's a lot of things I would change if I could, a good handful of lyrics i would want to rewrite, and things i wish i focused more on. But it was time to split this off of me, so I could move forward into newer, hopefully brighter, territories.

Here's a list from oldest to newest songs on the album. I'm far too lazy to actually find out if this is right, but this is my impression:

LOSE MY HEAD (2021-2022?)

I WILL MAKE IT WORK

WHAT WE HAVE

SNOW FALLS

GOLD (ver1)

I WONDER

TO ME IT'S EVERYTHING

WALKING AGAIN

LEAVE IT IN THE GROUND

YOU SING

WATER

WATCH

GOLD (ver2)

(warning ahead for topics on weed and sad life stuff that's probably way too much information)

One of the things that made this album take so long was my occasional use of edibles. Listening to music high feels like unlocking a deeper understanding of music, like it's being projected in 3d inside my brain. When I listened to others people's music, my mind could be blown by how natural the songwriting feels, how enveloping the production sounded, how it genuinely made me feel very, very, good. When I listened to my music, I found it to be awkward, dry, and flat. 

I made my music sober, and usually loved it sober, but under the influence it became something I hated. In the last year I worked on this album, a pattern started to form. I would write songs, and then throw them out. Over and over again.

The friends I showed the songs liked them, but the songs unnerved me. It was the lyrics, the production choices, the overall vibe- I guess I was hearing myself, and hating it!

I started to unravel, losing touch with my understanding of who I was and who I was becoming. I was watching myself and my actions, embarrassed and ashamed, and life was becoming something I no longer understood. Noise filled/fills my thoughts. Eventually I realized that after using edibles, the few days after would become an intensely emotional time. Some of the worst times of my recent life. I've decide to hold off on edibles for the foreseeable future. I feel as if I'm slowly coming back, but i know the brighter, carefree mindset i was will never return.

This album was initially called "MOMENTS IN MOMENTS OF TIME". It was going to be about the past, about various memories, etc. But as I kept writing new songs, I kept writing about how I felt at odds with myself. Eventually the old songs were dropped because i felt i had moved on from them. And so I changed the title.

SPLIT WHOLE, Released August 2024.

on to greener grass hopefully 🤞